No one is out of your league if you know how to approach
Many people—even outgoing people—get intimidated when
they see a super hottie walk by. But connecting with
someone you find ultra attractive is easier than you think.
It’s not rocket science, and it doesn’t take memorizing any
cheesy pickup lines.
Become an expert at connecting with that “perfect 10″ guy
or girl with these 5 easy dating tips:
1. Build yourself up.
Remember, there is no “rejection”, only
the wrong fit. Often, there’s a reason you’re drawn to a
person. Maybe you and this person are meant to connect.
But if not, that’s okay. You’ll never know until you find out.
If you are nervous, you’re putting the hottie on a pedestal. If
so, you need to get right up there on the pedestal with
them! Rather than feeling less-than, remind yourself that
you are a catch and think of your best qualities. For all you
know, you’re tailor-made for this person and that hottie
may have been looking for someone just like you.
2. Connect subtly.
Look this person in the eye and smile.
Some of my clients find even this step hard to do. But
remember this person needs some contact and you can
provide it. Studies show that most men will not approach a
woman unless they get this signal. And many men have
discovered they don’t even have to make a move. When
they first connect with their eyes and their energy, women
come to them!
3. Be genuine.
Ask your hottie a question. Or comment on
something around you, something they’re wearing or
anything you observe: even the weather. No need to try to
dazzle with your big wit—just engage with this person in
Avoid seeming desperate—it repels. Besides, you aren’t
desperate! Because you know that no single interaction is
make-or-break. Be interested and show that you are
genuinely hearing the hottie (not just looking at them), and
bonding will begin.
One tip here, unless you’re looking for a booty call, skip the
s*xual innuendo, heavy flirting or showing too much skin
(at least for now). The hottie has to feel emotionally safe
with you first, and all the rest will come naturally later on.
I repeat: avoid all use of pickup lines! Every attempt to
impress, intimidate or to boast will fail where simple
Just introduce yourself by name (and remember their name
when they say it). Hotties like to talk, but just like most
people, they appreciate someone helping to break the ice.
Help them feel emotionally comfortable. If you are truly
interested in them, you will get a warm reception.
4. Shift connection to conversation.
Now that you’re talking
together, keep on chatting. Ask questions. Show them
photos on your phone of something you’ve done recently.
Ask them to dance. Get them to tell you a story of
something in their life.
Find out about their work, their friends, their family. Laugh,
nod and find reasons to like them. They will sense you
warming up to them and reciprocate. We all need someone
to see us and to like us for who we are. But they’ll shut you
down and rebuff you immediately (as they should) if you’re
So, really connect. It puts you at a different level. Not
throwing out superficial pick-up lines puts you way ahead
of the game.
5. Stay in touch.
Connect on Facebook or your smartphone
right then and there during your interaction. Call each other
while you’re chatting to save numbers. Get a card or email.
It’s surprising how often the info will be freely given once
you have made a true connection.
Studies show that most couples bond through repeated
interactions before they ever go out on a date. So notice
their patterns, try to run into them regularly. Or exchange
texts on a consistent basis.
Attraction levels vary wildly as you get to know someone. A
hottie may think you’re kind of cute at first, but then
suddenly find themselves crushing on you as the two of you
One thing is for sure, in order to find the love of your life,
you need to quit being intimidated by looks and practice
connecting with hotties. Otherwise, you might accidently
rule out the person who might be the love of your life.